Musings on Physics and feeling dumb

Physics is hard.  Actually, I’m embarrassed to admit that Algebra is hard.  Seriously, for the most part I get the concepts.  Opposite charged particles attract, like charges repel.  Forces acting at an angle are decomposed into x and y components.  Current running through a circuit is a function of voltage and resistance V = IR (and any charged capacitors present if you want to get fancy).  But you know what kills me?  Remembering how to add fractions with variables present.  I. Am. Math. Stupid.   

So I’ve never found math particularly fun.  It’s useful in lab for making solutions and I’ve found myself occasionally using it at home for budgeting and measuring equivalents in the kitchen.  But c’mon!!  How many folks have used anything beyond completely elementary algebra unless they were building something structural or making fancy repair parts for some machine (ehem, DAD you don’t count).  When was the last time you needed to add (1/x^3/2 + 2/x⁴ )???  (BTW, I had to look up exponent rules w/hubby to solve this….  x^2/3 + 2(x^-4) is as simplified as it gets.  I think.)  And who the heck uses sin and cos to determine angles in their everyday life???

My brain operates on the “Use it or Loose it” rule.  Sometimes I get the feeling mental capacity is limited, so whenever something new comes along that I need to know, out goes something I used to know but no longer use.  Talking with some intelligent people I know, I get the feeling this isn’t all that uncommon.  I’m beginning to suspect that the only thing different about those extra-obnoxiously smart people is their ability to keep MORE of the info they once learn on mental-hand, all the time.  Ever been around someone with photographic-ish memory?  It’s really annoying.  In this day and age of informational bombardment, I think our brains are re-wiring to have lots of info coming and going with very little of it “sticking”.  Who needs to (or wants to!) remember what Kim Kardashian is up to five years from now?  But that’s not so good for someone going back to school.   Or who wants to be a research professor.  I NEED information to stick for the long term.  

Unfortunately is stuff like this that inevitably makes me question my ability to be successful in research/academia/career.  I’m constantly surrounded by brilliant people, lots of whom I’ve seen struggle for exactly the kind of career I think I want.  Some days I believe I can do it – with more training and the focus brought by working towards a personal goal, I know I can solve meaningful questions and write good grants and WANT to be in lab for 10hrs a day.  Other days, I feel like a moron who doesn’t have the mental capacity nor work ethic to handle the incredibly competitive environment that is academic research.

Physics makes me feel like a moron.  

Illness, waiting, and physics. Ugh.

So the lovely cold the hubby shared with me has followed the same path his did.  I thought I was feeling better on Monday so went to work....had long day at work....had physics homework kick my butt that evening....low and behold I was in worse shape Tuesday, stayed up half the night coughing and finally decided to drag my pitiful butt into the doctors yesterday.  So it's on the antibiotics and codeine syrup train now *sigh*.  And my voice has blown out from all the coughing so I sound ridiculous.  At least this didn't happen during my Tech interview, right?!? SILVER LININGS, DAMNIT!!

Unfortunately the cold happened just when I was supposed to be catching up on the physics reading and studying I had blown off while prepping for my interview....so now I feel doubly behind.  Not just feel, but am.  I am hereby taking control of the situation NOW.  From now on, I am cut off from TV during week nights  -  it's either reading/studying/working on physics, or doing dishes, or bed.  (You all might find me going to bed at 8:30pm from now on...).

Seriously though, one of my biggest problems is that after a long day working in lab, bouncing to and from class and what ever else, I'm POOPED in the evenings and find myself too often staring blandly at the TV until 10pm.  When I'm already kinda tired, all will power to shut off that soul-sucking electronic devil is washed away.  I realize that I still need to devote the majority of each weekend to physics studying and practice, but even if I get two pages read on the weeknights, that's something!!  Plus TV shows just make me wish I was thinner, witty-er and better dressed *sigh*

This actually leads into my hypothesis that TV is the root of all societal discontent....but that's for another post.

In other school news, I found out letters for the combined degree from Tech should have been mailed *today*.  I haven't gotten an email, and I don't know if they'll send one, but regardless I should get the letter pretty quickly.  Like tomorrow or Saturday.  Will keep ya posted!
I also found out that I should hear from UCDavis between the 14th and 18th...again, not holding my breath for this at all, but a decision one way or the other will just help solidify plans.  I mean, in the very far off chance I did get an interview at Davis, it would really complicate the decision making process.  The details are neither interesting nor pertinent until I find out, so I will spare you all.

Wish I had creature news, but don't.  All the furries are stable, and totally bored with Brian and I for being couch potatoes for so long.  I have a few pics I should probably get up but...yeah...been too busy coughing.  Dearest H. (H is for hubby) is getting much better, so hopefully life will return to happy normalcy soon.  Off to do a post-physics-lab quiz and split some cells.  Good times.