Virginia Tech

I assume most of you have heard/seen the news about the shooting today on VaTech campus.

If not, the short story is that an unidentified person approached a Tech police officer around 12noon and shot and killed him in a parking lot on campus.  This person fled on foot towards another parking lot (the cage), where a second individual was later found dead.  A weapon was found near this person, and it is presumed he is likely the shooter, although not confirmed.

All of this went down while I was sitting in a seminar in the vet school.  At the end of the seminar, it was announced there had been a shooting and we were on lockdown.  I had my cell phone on me, but of course decided it would be the ONE day I didn't have my laptop with me.  I was only supposed to be at the vet school for that seminar, then going back to my lab which is in a different building off campus.  Needless to say I rushed to the library computers to get more info, and started texting family to let them know what was going on.

There was a rapid and vigorous police response, and those of us who were stuck waited pretty patiently for every scrap of news.  It was a crystal chilly winter day, and the bright cheerful sunlight seemed weirdly out of place.....nobody was freaking out, but everybody was pretty anxious.  The lockdown was lifted around 4:30pm after no further incidents and with a very heavy police presence on campus.

The situation is disturbing on many levels -
It's horrible that a police officer was shot and killed, regardless of the circumstances.
It's horrible that another person died.
It's creepy that it  happened within walking distance of the vet college where I was.
It's creepier that only 20mins before, I had parked my truck in the same parking lot where the second body was found.
It's a terrible blow to the university's people after having suffered so much trauma in 2007.

While tragic, this incident might not be so remarkable by crime statistic standards.  We still don't know who exactly the shooter was, if there was motive or mental illness involved.  It might be as simple and horrible as someone over-reacting to a drug bust - we just don't know yet.

However, in this place, it echos the senseless violence that occurred in 2007 and set everyone on edge.  While I wasn't a Tech student at the time, being at an academic institution (UVa) and so close to Tech that I got a glimpse of the horror of that event.  There is something about indiscriminate violence, the kind that tears at the fabric of human civility which covers us all, that is profoundly disturbing.

I think that's the best description for how I feel about today: disturbed.  While the events may have been a far cry from the tragedy that struck in 2007 and I was perfectly safe, it made me think a LOT about meaningless violence.

So I talked to my family, emailed with friends, and gave my husband a lot of hugs tonight.  I suggest you all do the same.

Decision making help

So this is not meant to be offensive to anyone:

I WANT A CHART LIKE THIS FOR EVERY DIFFICULT LIFE DECISION!!!

 I might have peed a little laughing so hard at this when I opened it.  For those of you who know him, it'll be no surprise that this came from my dear old Dad.  I'm pretty sure he thinks this falls under his fatherly duty of "spiritual education" of his offspring .

Receiving this was particularly apropos as I was working on flow charts for experiment plans just yesterday.  If only science were as amusing....

Football and Thanksgiving review

Well, is everyone feeling fat and sassy?? I certainly am!!

I'm also feeling conflicted....conflicted because at this moment UVa is loosing miserably to VaTech in football.  That's right, my alma mater is loosing to my...er...current mater?  I'm not a huge football fan, but I can get into college football sometimes and this game hits close to home on many levels.  Where do my allegiances lie now?  Totally split.   I have so many fond memories of UVa and there are some fabulous things about that school (like the 11 amazing libraries, or the gorgeous buildings and gardens)....but there are also some sucky things.  For example, how the Wahoo fans leave the stadium in the third quarter to go drinking when their team is down 28-0.  Tech fans would be frothing at the mouth, channeling every decibel they could at the field.  Unfortunately, I find rooting for a dominant team boring, but I have to respect the Hokie fans for their dedication.  Like tailgating before 9am for an 8pm Thursday game (witnessed while on my way to class).  While I knew Tech would probably win today, I had hoped the game would at least be close.  There's something about a hard-fought win that is sweeter for the champion and more noble for the defeated.  There's always next year......

Thanksgiving in Blacksburg was a nice, simple affair.  Good food, good company.  I got to give my Dad a tour of B'burg today - including the new lab!  He was a trooper (I know seeing new biosafety hoods isn't as exciting for the non-lab folk).  He even went with me to visit the pony, who is back out to pasture though we're still fighting the nasty skin infection.

Not surprisingly I have managed to not get as much done before the coming week as I had hoped.  Ergo tomorrow is slated to be spent in seclusion, working.  I'm too easily distracted at home, so it's off to the lab or library with some caffeine early tomorrow.  I'll have to warn everyone, please don't be surprised if I don't get a post in for the next week or so....but I'll try to squeeze one in as a study break :-)
 
On a different note:

In musing about the holiday and on being thankful, something stuck in my head.  I was listening to an old episode of Radiolab about "the self".  Literally, it was a radio show about the neurological and psychological basis of the perception of "self".  Within the larger show, there was a story about a woman who suffered a significant brain aneurysm and upon recovery had a very different "self".  The woman's daughter told the story from her perspective, and ended with the following thoughts:

"My mother's illness, like a death or an accident, was one of those moments when time stops.  When normal disappears.  When you marvel that everyone else in the world can still laugh and go to the movies and complain about the weather.  That's an explosion.  In those moments, you can see life happen.  It has clarity and meaning and purpose in the midst of its horror and pain.  But then those moments pass and you're consumed by the trivia of daily life once again.  Sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed by the task of making my way through the world, I try to focus on the fact that the electric bill does no matter.  The idiot driver glued to their cell phone does not matter.  The mind numbing day job truly does not matter.  But welcoming the strange and the different, being open and available for my husband, my friends, my family, experiencing love and laughter as often as possible; that's what matters.  Because it can all be taken away in one, brilliant flash."
Hannah Palin

I love Thanksgiving more than any other holiday because it is meant as this reminder - to set aside the frustrating minutiae of daily life and be thankful for the good things we have.  To open our arms and hearts to those around us and to celebrate.  To appreciate what is here, now.

I loose sight of these things often.  If I only had a larger house, if I only had a sound horse, if I only had smaller thighs, if I was only more active, if I only focused harder...Nothing is 100% good (no matter what the ads say), but we need to remember to embrace what we have.

Somehow, I need to find that balance between embracing my here/now while also planning/hoping for the future.

That lesson is soooo much harder than grad school!

Poor, neglected blog!!

Oh dear.  I am NOT a responsible blog owner.  (Thank heavens I'm better about being a responsible pet owner, but that doesn't really help you guys.)

The long absence is due to two unsurprising things:
1. School has been nuts.
2. None of it is remotely interesting to anyone other than myself.

It's getting towards the end of the semester, ergo all of the classes decide to crap on me at once.  This coming week is Thanksgiving so I don't officially have classes, but I'm still working in lab and meeting with some other students to deal with group projects.  In the two weeks following, I'll have two final exams, a paper due, two group presentations, another paper, and a final version of my grant due.  And the week after that I'm trying to schedule my first committee meeting to get it out of the way.  Oh, and my antibodies are all in so I need to be in lab doing my experiments too.  Oh, and the lab might start moving in two weeks.  

And did I mention my Dad is coming to visit??  Yeah, I'm the idiot that told him it would be a good idea to come for Thanksgiving.  WHAT was I thinking??? Thank heavens Dad and hubby enjoy spending time together, since there might be more of them hanging out together while I'm holed up in the library than I had originally planned.  I'm going to scramble these last three days before he shows up to get as much done as possible so we can have at least a few chill days before I'm swallowed up by school again and the two boys are left to their own devices.

Speaking of hubby, he's been up to no good:

BEER BREWING!!!  I haven't mentioned his brewing hobby previously because, well, he hasn't done a ton between all the moving crap and not having all the equipment.  He finally got a brewing pot and proceeded to fill our tiny apartment with the aromas of chocolate malt and Willamette hops.  Actually, he might have filled the whole building the the aromas, but nobody complained!  (Side note: hubby was looking at brewing gear and came across a grain mill called the "cereal killer"!! *snort*)  What's currently in the carboy, burbling away?  A porter kit that he's going to add some dried black currants to (courtesy of Dad).

Brewing beer has always struck me as being too much like making a very complicated solution in lab.  There's a lot of temperature measuring, timing of ingredients and stirring.  However, much like science, hubby is pretty darned good at it, and as I get to enjoy the fruits of his labor, I'm not complaining!

Beyond that, the furries are all doing fine.  I actually got out and RODE my horse today!!  She's trotting and cantering around her field on her own, so I decided she could pack my butt around for just a little bit.  The short version is that Dax once again proved she is freakin' amazing: went all over new unfamiliar territory in blustery weather BY HERSELF (well, with me aboard but that doesn't count as company to most horses).  Yes she was scared and needed to be pushed along, but she was a trooper and listened to me.  We even opened gates from horseback and she. was. perfect. Still lame, but perfectly behaved.  Unfortunately the crud on her hind foot (the scratches) has gotten worse, so she's stuck in a stall for a couple of days to be treated....it's kind of sad, but I don't mind because it gives me an excuse to be at the barn twice a day!!  I'm on the hunt for a new/cheap place to board her seeing as retirement/rescue ideas have fallen through or dried up.  More on that later.
 
As for me, doing ok.  Still feeling kind of off kilter in my new role as student, not feeling very organized or like I've got the crazy juggling act of classes-research-wifey down, but not feeling like a total failure either....just not at the top of my game exactly.

I'm also OVER living in the tiny apartment with four bikes in my living room.

I JUST WANT TO BE SETTLED SOME WHERE, TO BE UNPACKED AND FOR STUFF TO HAVE ITS PLACE SO I'M NOT WASTING BRAIN CELLS DEALING WITH THIS CRAP!!

Life is busy enough without constantly struggling with clutter or always trying to figure out where things should go (biggest example right now: my class crap.  I don't have a desk of my own at home to study at and it's a problem.)  I'm also running into more and more incidents of wanting/needing to use things that are currently in storage.  When we packed up and left Crozet, we thought we'd only be in the apartment for a few months and packed away things accordingly.  Oops.

Even after all of my previous posts about the whole house vs. apartment life style stuff, I realize:
1) hubby and I are nesters.  We want to live in a place where we and others like to spend time.  I want to decorate for holidays and have enough room for a friggin Christmas tree.
2) We both have gear-heavy, space-sucking hobbies: think lots of bikes, all the tools to repair bikes, power tools to build stuff, horse gear, beer brewing 5gallon carboys, 5 cases of beer bottles, lots of kitchen crap for Catsie-cooking-craziness.....

Do we both need to get out of the house and be active?  Yes.  Do we want to lead a life style in which we are engaged in our community in some way?  Yes.  Do either of these things negate the two previously mentioned facts?  Nope.

Do I want my cake and want to eat it too?  You betcha.

By the way....

I'm sure a few of you have noticed the new blog layout. (and if not, then check it out!!)  I wasn't sure if this new layout would take longer to load or not...if the blog seems unusually slow to load (or if you generally don't like it) just let me know!!

And thanks for reading!

Happy Halloween!

Zack and Haley say "Trick-or-treat!"

Ok, I know this is an older picture, but they're so darned cute!!  If Batman ever decided to have a furry side-kick, it would have to be Zack....those ears, that double-mask, the grouchy demeanor....I mean, he IS Batman in doggie form!!


So life continues rolling along.  Hubby and I have had a few busy weekends visiting friends and having friends visit us.  It's been great to catch up with all of them, but it also reminds me of how much I miss having a strong social network.  Before moving to Blacksburg, I'd lived in the Charlottesville/Crozet area for 12 years.  That's longer than I'd lived in any other place my entire life!  I've made some great life-long friends from those years, and had gotten pretty comfortable and settled.  


This move has been awkward socially.  On one hand, I'd really like to meet some people in B'burg who share similar interests, whether it be horse riding, bike riding, even going to check out live music or some plays....folks that might want to do spur-of-the-moment hikes or grab a beer out.  On the other hand, we're only 2.5hrs away from a number of my dear friends, so it's easy to plan weekend trips to visit and do similar things.  But that makes me feel socially isolated in B'burg.  For all this whining, I'm not too worried as it's only been 4 months and it took me 12 years in C'ville :-)  I've never been one to make friends quickly! 


Hubby just commented that we simply haven't found the right crowd yet....the old fogey crowd.  Thanks dear.  


The furries are all doing pretty well.....getting furry-er as we speak.  Winter arrived yesterday in the form of a sleet storm so I can't blame the creatures for fluffing-out and getting into hibernation mode.  Example A:

Example B:

Yeahhhhh....it's a rough life.


Dax is still lame and still in the same place she was.  I applied to a non-profit horse rehab organization but they turn us down, so I'm back to square one trying to find a better and cheaper living arrangement for her.  I've got another lead to follow up with, but I'm pretty sure it's going to come down to me posting a "free horse" ad on craigslist....which I'm really scared to do b/c I don't want her to end up in a sketchy situation.  Obviously I can try to minimize this risk by careful interviews and visiting farms, but once she's moved I have no control.  And this is assuming anyone is even willing to take her on, which is a big IF in this economy. *sigh*  At least she's been a good girl since the kicking incident - she's got a minor skin infection on her pastern (commonly called scratches) and she lets me treat it in the field without fuss, even though it's pretty sensitive.  She gets this crap every year when the grass is really wet, causing her lower legs to stay wet and allowing bacteria growth to take off.


Lab and school are going well, and getting busier by the week.  I'm finally doing actual experiments!!  Woo!  Growing cells, running gels....and it all makes me feel totally helpless because I have to ask where everything is.  I swear I know how to do this crap...I just don't know where the buffers are, where the conical tubes are kept, where I can put my stuff in the freezers.  I don't know where the freezers are for that matter!  Totally helpless.  Luckily the lab manager/tech is patient and understands, so she'll kindly stop whatever she's doing to get me a lab timer or show me where the sharpie markers are (first lab I've been in where there aren't sharpies lying around everywhere!).  


There's been lots of lab drama due to our scheduled move to a new building in the end of Nov or Dec (we're predicting it doesn't happen before the holidays :-).  Currently, my lab is located in a building separate from the main veterinary campus.  The main vet campus is made up of three connected buildings, so it basically looks like one very long building, but it's divided up by the hospital phase, the classroom/teaching phase and the research phase (they're called phases b/c they were built in different phases.  Very creative.)  Now there is a fourth new wing with two floors, one for offices and IT and the second floor with all research labs (and a kitchen area!!  I'm pushing for a new coffee maker...)  There are five labs, so we'll occupy one and the other four are reserved for new faculty.  I'm excited to be moving for multiple reasons:
1) I'll be in a more centralized location for classes and labwork.
2) New lab = new equipment!  
3) No stink bugs.  Our current building is very old...we have window A/C units b/c there's no central air, and somehow lots of little "wildlife" find their way inside.  I was doing cell culture in a sterile cabinet/hood Thursday when I suddenly saw a stinkbug sauntering along the open edge about 4 inches from my arms.  Not so sterile.
4) New collaborators!  The new labs are reserved for new faculty which the department is actually in the process of hiring (not just talking about hiring).  It's an example of a general expansion that seems to be going on in the college.  There's another new building that just broke ground that is for DVM teaching and professor offices.  Another huge research building (called the "translational research" building) is 3rd on the list to get funded by the university, meaning it very well could break ground in the next two years and be built before I graduate!  The physical expansion goes along with the new hiring expansions (something like 11 new faculty over the next couple of years!), and there are plans to expand the DVM class sizes as well.  It's an exciting time to be at the VMRCVM! (Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine).
5) I'll be getting my own lab bench to work at (right now I'm sharing) and I'll hopefully learn where stuff is stored as we move...since I'll be helping put things away as we unpack.  But that means we can also organize and generally have the lab set up in a much more efficient way than it is now.  Right now, it's kind of chaos, and I'm not just saying that b/c I'm still sort of new and don't know where anything is.


Let's see, other than that I'm still working on writing some grants...have gotten good comments back from some faculty on my rough draft.  Now I'm scrambling to find a place to submit it because I just found out last Monday that I am in-eligible to apply to the F31 I was originally planning on applying to.  Poop.  Serious poop.  I also can't apply to an NSF fellowship b/c I have a Masters degree.  It's looking more and more like my proposals are going to end up being submitted by my PI for R-type grants (the kind of grants that only go to faculty, or at least people with doctorate degrees).  Either way it'll get submitted which is good, except it would be better for my career if I was able to get an award under my own name.  


Notice I'm automatically assuming they'll get funded??  HA!  It's a big assumption either of my proposals will make it past triage (where all the grants that don't have a remote chance get tossed without being reviewed).


Learning....it's all a learning experience.... 


I'm getting the stare-down from the puppers.  Time for a walk, then some apartment cleaning.  Hope everybody else has a nice weekend!

Gratuitous advertising

Dear Readers,
If you are of a sciencey-bent and have some spare time, check out my friend's blog and read some ruminations on monsters, volcanos, philandering men, oh, and Mary Shelley:
http://tinyacorns.net/

If you are of a more photo-y mood, check out the recently updated photo site of my dear hubby (who has a photography addiction like I have a horse addiction :-) :
http://www.brianhallphoto.com/

I promise an actual update on life in Blacksburg soon!
- Cat

Dax is going to be famous!!

And I'm going to get my jumping form torn to shreds.

What is this all about?  Why, a picture of Dax and myself jumping is up to be critiqued by none other than George Morris in Practical Horseman's Jumper clinic column!

So I imagine all my non-horsey friends are wondering what the heck I'm talking about.  Brief background:
1) Practical Horseman is a popular equine magazine focused on jumping/hunter style english riding.
2) George Morris is a SUPER famous trainer/coach/rider dude who has been running a column in the monthly magazine for...I don't know....ever?  A long time anyway.  His approach to form and showing is from a previous generation/classical hunter approach and he has very particular preferences about how riding and showing should be done.
3) In this column, he takes three pictures of people riding over a jump and critiques each rider's form, horse's form, cleanliness, tack, etc.  Offers tips and suggestions for correcting mistakes and training stuff.

The point?  The picture of Dax and myself jumping is going to be published in a reallyio-trulio magazine with national distribution!!  It only took four years :-)  Yup, submitted the photo four years ago - the magazine uses photos in the order in which they are submitted.  It's a pretty popular column!

What photo might I be referring to?  Why, this one!

 
Of course I think it's great and that both Dax's and my form are pretty darned good....but Morris is a stickler and ALWAYS finds stuff.  I'm preparing for a major picking-apart.  So if you want to see Dax and myself in print, check out the December copy of Practical Horseman (they're always at Barnes and Noble, probably any tack stores, etc.).

I just want everyone to look carefully at Dax's expression here....if anyone ever questioned that horses' like to jump, here's the proof.  Dax freakin' loved it, and I loved jumping with her.  I miss that so much.

Horse hazards

This will be a short post....because my hand freaking hurts.

 Ok, so it doesn't look nearly as gory in the pic as it does in real life....normally I can see the bones in the back of my hand clearly, just to give you an idea of the swelling.  The bruising is deep and developing slowly, but I don't think anything is broken as I can still move everything and pressure doesn't create any stabbing pains (I'm typing pretty effectively right now).

Sunday, after spending an hour doting on my half-sleeping horse (it was bath time) and hand grazing her for another 10mins, we headed back to her pasture.  The breeze was up, it was a beautiful evening and she perked up as we headed up the hill.  We were just through the first gate when she majorly spooked, dove forward and yanked me along with her as I had a pretty good grip on the lead rope.  Meaning my hands where right out in front of me when she sent a rear hoof directly at me, catching me in the back of both hands and across my left forearm.

Needless to say I let go of the lead rope.  Which is a good thing, because otherwise I would have strangled her with it.

Dax went tearing off.  After I assessed the damage (can move everything, no major blood, have feeling again) I followed to catch and return her to her pasture.  Of course she gives me these" Oh HI mom!  Where have you been?"eyes and actually walks to me across the rest of the field.  She nuzzled my scraped up arm after I let her loose in her pasture, probably smelling some of the blood.

Idiot. Horse.

Just goes to show it doesn't matter how much your horse loves/fears/trusts/knows you....if something scares it badly, they know they can run faster than you, and the fastest one survives.  Bomb-proof horses are a myth, and any horse that can stand on four feet can still kick and bite.  Shoot, they can bite even if they're lying down!  While I've never had that particular incident happen, I do have some nice bite scars, along with permanent dents in my quads where a filly double-barrelled me in a stall, and and old scar below the bikini line where a horse caught me in a pasture and hairline fractured my pelvis.  That's not including the concussion from falling off.....

So you remember the last horse post where I talked about how every time I get on a horse I am trusting it with my life?  I want to amend that to be "Any time I am within 20ft of a horse, I am trusting it with my life."

More later, but right now there's an ice pack calling my name.

Need more motor in my motor-vate...

This is bad.  Very bad.

I'm using lab work to procrastinate on class work.  Ok, technically right now I'm using blogger to procrastinate, but this morning the former was true.

I should be studying for immunology (whee! neutrophil enzymes!) and for my systems biology exam on Monday but no....I decided to work on my fellowship application.  Er, applications.  *sigh*  This is dangerous territory.  Yes, I was being productive and the fellowships are due in the beginning of December, so it's not trivial stuff....but if I'm not careful I'll be rocking my lab work and failing all my classes :-(

Oh, for those of you science-minded, I'm applying for an NIH F31 (NRSA) fellowship (application almost identical to an R21).  For those of you non-sciencey people, this means I'm writing a 6 page proposal for a specific project that I want the National Institutes of Heath to give me money to study.  I get to convince them in 6 pages that 1) the disease I want to study is important 2) there's lots of sound science out there supporting my hypothesis 3) I can efficiently test my hypothesis and have backup plans should experiments fail 4) that my idea is innovative.  I also have to convince them that I'm generally awesome, have an awesome mentor at an awesome school and that they are investing taxpayers dollars in the career of a future brilliant scientist.  Riiiiiiiiiight......
I used the plural "applications" b/c I'm actually writing two, which are semi-related.  Which-ever comes out the best will be the one I actually submit to NIH.  These also happen to be the two projects my mentor wants me to develop for my thesis, so it's all inter-connected and will serve an important purpose (project proposal to my committee!)  regardless of my ability to woo NIH into giving me money.

Oh, and it's not like I'd be making bank or anything.....it's really all for the glory of saying "I am funded by NIH". ("bitches" could be added at the end of that, depending on context of delivery.  For example, it would be appropriate to brag "I am funded by NIH, bitches!" to snotty medical students questioning the validity of a veterinarian doing research, but probably best not used for interview applications)

POLL RESULTS:
On a completely different note, the consensus of my dear 5 readers is that the rambles shall continue, un abated.  Well, it was confirmed to me that I actually have more than 5 readers and I should have had the poll up longer, but considering the response I got was unanimous for keeping the blog as it is, I'm not too worried about it :-)  You like me!  You really like me!!!!!

But my professors aren't going to like me if I don't get on top of this studying....so back to the books!

One more day for polling!

That's right...one more day to cast yer opinion on blog style.  Please vote and reassure me that I have more than 4 readers.  It's lonely out here in cyber space!  

As for rambles: tomorrow is the annual Vet college research symposium.  All the students (MS and PhD) are required to present posters or a talk of their research projects, except for us newbies who haven't been in lab long enough.  It's going to be an interesting mix of clinically-oriented stuff as well as basic science research.  I saw a couple of posters early and I think it's going to be cool (how common tap water contaminants cause mouse embryo developmental defects...yikes!)  It's always good to know what your compet...I mean, colleagues are up to.  heehee!


So bring on the pastries, Folgers coffee and non-dairy creamer!  (standard scientific-talk fare)  Hope my arse doesn't go numb from all the sitting.  The only other thing I have tomorrow is a seminar class which consists of attending an hour long talk by a visiting professor.  Yup....lots of sitting tomorrow.....

I want some feedback!

So it has come to my attention *cough* hubby *cough* that sometimes my posts are kind of long.  Ok, my posts are almost always long.

I recognize the current blog pattern is long posts less frequently.  I have a tendency to ramble and try to explain everything completely.  BUT...I can change!  I could go for the shorter/lighter/more frequent posts instead:  Would you like to know what color I just painted my toes?? (Maple leaf red, btw).

To find out what my dear friends/family/readership prefers to read, I've created a poll at the top of right column.  Let me know if you think the posts are too long, just right, or not clear/long enough.

Constructive criticism is necessary for all growth.  So let 'er rip!  You have until 9/30 (Friday) to let me know what you think.....Go!

The latest hurdle

Dax is officially being retired.

I finally had the VT vets out to re-check her, and the gist is that the bone cyst in her left stifle is actually WORSE, and her joint is showing signs of degeneration.  The meniscus (the fibrous pad that cushions the large bones of the knee joint in horses and peoples) is ragged looking, the joint capsule is thickened and there's a lot of fluid accumulation.  This was all determined with Xray and ultrasound.

On top of that, the head vet mention bone cysts are often bi-lateral, so they did a quick Xray of her right (good) stifle and found a matching bone cyst there.  Why that one hasn't caused her any problems while the left one is so bad, we'll never know, but it certainly paints a dimmer picture.  We did discuss possible further treatments for the left painful joint, and the vet explained that her chances of responding to any intervention were slim, especially since the steroid injection failed to help.  In addition to that, the only other possibilities would be upwards of $5K.  On no planet does it make sense to spend $5K for a treatment that has a slim chance of helping a horse that is valued at less than half that amount.

So Dax is going into retirement until the joint pain decreases her quality of life, and then she'll have to be put down.  She is walking around her very hilly pasture just fine right now, but if she trots on her own you can see how lame she is.  I need to find her a new home that is smaller and less hilly, and preferably with calmer friends (right now there area  couple of young and very active herd members that keep everybody moving around quite a bit).  

This typed explanation isn't conveying the emotions tied up in the situation well....the best analogy I can come up with is trying to find a good nursing home for a parent.  Think about it: she has no control over how she is treated, I'm looking for good living accommodations as well as attentive care-takers, and money is a significant hurdle.  I guess it's also analogous to trying to find good daycare for a child, but the guilt of trying to find a retirement home for Dax can only be like the guilt of putting a family member in nursing care.  Yes, I feel guilty about this because if I only had unlimited funds I'd give her every treatment/surgery possible, give her a stall at the nicest barn I could find very close to me and treat her just the same as if she was being ridden, out of respect for the time I've had to ride her.  But instead I'm trying to find the cheapest but safe living arrangement for her since she is no longer ride-able.  

This is the dichotomy of horse ownership for a lot of us amateur owners.  Equines are neither pets nor livestock.  They hover between these two categories in some emotionally complex classification that defies rational decision-making.  The connection between myself and Dax rests on riding - without riding, our relationship consists of me delivering treats and her enjoying that but otherwise not really interacting.  Equines typically (and there are exceptions to every rule) do not "bond" to their owners the way a dog does.  Yes, Dax does recognize me compared to a stranger, and responds differently to me than to other people, but she doesn't love me....she understands me, and she trusts me.  It is a trust built up over seven years of weird and sometimes risky adventures.  

That's the foundation of our relationship: that when ever I would get on her back, she was trusting me with her life, and I was trusting her with mine.  There is a profound level of trust build between a horse and rider that many take for granted - take a look at a bucking bronco if you don't remember what horses are capable of and how they should respond to a predator climbing up on their back.  The trust they show a  rider when they calmly allow that rider on their back goes against thousands of years of evolution.  

That trust goes the other way too.  I've been thrown and dragged by enough other horses (and pissy little school ponies) to be cautious with any horse I get on.  I'm not one of those riders who was in the saddle in utero and is fearless....I started riding in highschool.  I'm well aware of how far down it is from a horse's back and how hard that ground really is (and how landing in "soft" sand is actually like having sandpaper rubbed down your skin).  But Dax has repeatedly demonstrated her sensible nature and through her trust in me, her willingness to calmly handle unfamiliar situations.  I trust her to stop and let me know when she's scared or unsure rather than freak out and take off, or rear, or buck.  Not that she hasn't reared before or bucked a couple of times....she's a horse.  But she's done those things a total of three times (yes, I can remember and count exactly when those things happened) and I know why they happened.  After all this time together, I understand her responses, what she can handle and what she can't.  I can trust her to be safe for me to ride bareback in a halter.

With riding, she's like a pet: a healthy emotional and physical outlet.  Without riding, Dax becomes livestock....not exactly serving much purpose.

I guess the best description of my relationship with Dax is like those friendships that are based on a shared experience or interest, but are transient.  Sometimes those friendships can be very deep and intense, but when the commonality is gone, there's little left to foster further friendship.  That's exactly like Dax and I - without riding, we don't have much in common.  But the memory of that relationship, the meaning of that relationship, is not diminished by it's ending.  I am still responsible for her well being, a commitment I made when I bought her.  In the same way I would never abandon a dog b/c I was moving and finding a pet-friendly apt was hard, I will not abandon Dax b/c she can no longer be ridden.  

This is not a simple question of selling my beloved horse b/c I can no longer afford her....she can't go on to a loving family that will ride and care for her b/c she's broken.  It's become clear she'll never be able to be ridden again.  In addition to this she should never be bred, b/c bone cysts have a mysterious but subtle genetic link, so retiring to a broodmare farm isn't an option.  She's become the kind of horse that will get handed around if sold/given away, likely end up at an auction and ultimately shipped to Canada or Mexico where horse slaughter is still legal.  While I actually do not have a problem with HUMANE slaughter, it is very clear that current shipping, handling and slaughter of horses is FAR from humane in most cases.  I refuse to blindly hand her off to some unknown person pretending this scenario couldn't possibly happen to her.  If it can happen to a Kentucky Derby winner, it can damn sure happen to my broken little pony. 

So I'm looking into options, and there are some good ones out there.  They are just few, underfunded and usually have a waiting list b/c there are so many broken horses out there looking for safe and respectful retirement.  The control freak in me is loathe to hand over ownership so I can snatch her out of a bad arrangement if necessary, but the married responsible side of me knows I'm not in a financial position to be picky.  

I'll keep you posted.

We will return to our regularly scheduled program shortly

But until then......lookit what I bought with some birthday money!!!

I am proud of my program :-)

Schooling and such

As promised, here's an update on my school stuffs.  This might be a bit boring for those readers who aren't so interested in the gory details of a combined degree program, so consider yourself warned.  We'll return to our normal furry broadcast next post.

Right now (and for the rest of the PhD, the next three years) I've essentially got two things going on: 1) lab  2) classes.  This being my first year, I'm working mostly on familiarizing myself with my new field in the lab while trying to knock out my required course work.  Once I've got a project up and running, the course work will be pretty much done for me (by middle of 2nd year), and "classes" will begin to refer to classes that I will TA (hopefully!).  That's the basic over-view.  What does that mean I'm actually doing right now?

Reading.  Sh*t-tons of reading.

This is because my previous experience/knowledge was pretty much all to do with cancer cell signaling.  Now I'm in an immunology lab.  I did take a big-honking immunology class as part of my master's degree at UVa....but that was two years ago and I've used about 1% of what I learned.  As I've mentioned before, my brain operates on use-it-or-loose-it for most things, thus I'm re-learning immunology.  One stinking review article at a time.  It was interesting the first three weeks, but that's about all the tolerance I've got for just sitting and reading scientific articles.  Plus my desk and chair in lab are built for someone about 5'4"... I'm all scrunched up by the end of the day.  I've been trying to mix it up by reading at home, Starbucks, exploring libraries, but eventually I just want to freakin' pipette something!!

Honestly, I could be reading something fun like Hemingway or Kipling and I'd be sick of it after three weeks of nothing else.

But I have had a goal during all the reading: to come up with possible PhD project ideas, or more scientifically, hypotheses.  My mentor is all about encouraging me to be independent, and with my level of previous training (I know that sounds snotty) I should be.  I'd rather be testing my skills of developing a project NOW when I've got a mentor to guide me (i.e. tell me that my rationale is completely flawed) rather than later when my career/funding depends on it. So I came up with a few ideas, and my mentor chose one he thought was the most promising for further development.  But I also need a "backup" project, basically in case one of them tanks either b/c my hypothesis was totally wrong or because I run into insurmountable technical difficulties.  And I should also have a project tied to what's going on in the lab, which the first idea didn't so much.  So back to reading and familiarizing myself now with neutrophils and microRNAs. That's where project stuff stands.

In the midst of working on this stuff, my mentor asked me to help write a review!  Actually the other grad student is really writing, and I'm assisting.  (The lab consists of me, other grad, technician and a senior post-doc who is actually research faculty, and of course my mentor the PI).  It's both a crap-ton more reading and writing, but also a really good way to learn.

As for classes, they started Aug 22nd, and the first week was luckily all intro/syllabus stuff.  I say luckily because I managed to come down with my first cold the Thursday before.  That cold dragged on and on, but I thought I was getting better till just this past Thursday when my throat flared up again - now I've got swollen lymphnodes the size of strawberries.  I'm blaming it all on the germy little undergrads running around.  Poo on them!

Back to classes.  So I'm taking Vet immunology (for review primarily), Intro to Systems Biology (how to model cells/biochemical reactions with a computer), two seminars, one of which I have to present in, and a grant writing class.  The grant writing class is specifically designed to have you end up with a complete grant (6 page, K08 style) by the end of the semester, which is good for me because I'm planning on actually applying for both an NSF graduate fellowship as well as an F31 NRSA fellowship through NIH.  It's mostly for the scientific glory, but the NSF would land me substantially more stipend money and I'm also required to have a "grant writing experience" as part of my PhD program, and by taking the class I'm getting credit for the writing time.  Killing three birds with one stone!!

The work load is going to keep me pretty busy this semester, but it hasn't hit quite yet.  It really won't hit until the Vet immunology starts.  That class is with all the DVM students (and it will count towards my DVM) and the schedule is completely nuts: it meets on different days and different times every week.  Doesn't start till the end of Sept but then ends in November, with the final exam during finals week in Dec....it's going to be fast and intense, with only two exams and the final on which to base my grade.  Fun stuff!  Systems bio is going to be really interesting, but it also has exams and two projects so it's not exactly a light work-load.  I don't see myself getting a ton of experiments done in lab with all the class work, but I'm hoping to at least get preliminary data for my personal project proposal.  If I can complete all my classes in very good standing, get the fellowships submitted (with prelim data) and have my projects clearly outlined and experiments at least planned, it will be a successful semester....at least in my opinion!  I should check on that with my mentor ;-)

Meanwhile, for the program I have to "identify" (i.e. beg professors to be in) my committee.  I will meet with these guys once a semester to go over my work and plans, and they will ultimately decide when/if I get to graduate.  I have to pick profs from within my dept and without.  I also have to come up with a "plan of study" which basically outlines all the courses I plan on taking.  The plan isn't binding and can be modified, but they want to see that I've made sure to complete all the requirements for the program.  I'm lucky b/c a bunch of my master's classes can be transferred in and will cover some of the requirements.  That means fewer classes total for me, but I'll also have time/room in my schedule to complete something called the "Future Professoriate Certificate" through the graduate school.  It's basically a program that trains individuals to teach at a collegiate level, regardless of subject.  I'll have to take 6 extra credits, but since being a professor is what I'd like to do, it's worth it!

Well, thinking about all the stuff I've got to do makes me think I should get off blogger and work on some of it :-)  Being sick for the last 15 days has put me behind a bit....I've been trying to lay low but I don't know why my body is being so wimpy.  I actually went to Student Health on Friday - strep test and mono test were negative, and my white blood cells weren't elevated, but the doc was concerned about the swollen nodes (I mean, even hubby could see them clearly on my neck).  So I'm stuck taking ibuprofen, vit C and Zinc, and trying to sleep as much a possible.  Which isn't hard b/c I'm pretty pooped.  This is NOT the way I wanted to start the semester.....or spend my 31st birthday, which was this past Wed.  That was before my neck exploded, so hubs and I did celebrate by seeing the movie "Buck" and having a dinner out.  He surprised me with a Nook eReader, which I was considering returning b/c of the cost...but then I downloaded some books...and....well....now it's covered in fingerprints and I can't possibly return it!!  Actually, what's cool is that it's color and I can download pdfs of science papers and read them anywhere with all the figures in color!  Saving paper is a good thing, right?!?  This might seem ironic since we just went and got our local library cards, but get this: our library lends eBooks too!!! (can't remember if I mentioned that previously)  How cool is that??

It's pretty cool, I think.  So off to do some reading.....

Little post!

Hi all!
So my laptop battery is showing red, and it is getting close to beddy-bye...but just wanted to check in.  My head cold had *just* about cleared, and I had a pretty nice weekend with hubby both relaxing and doing fun stuffs.  We went to the Blacksburg library downtown Saturday afternoon, got cards and each checked out a book (poo on Ereaders...I've always liked the feel of a plastic jacket :-)  We finally made it out to a local (less than 15mins from the apt!!) park called Pandapas Pond.  Yes, there's a pond as the name implies, but also an extensive network of SWEET trails....trails which welcome both bike and horse!!!  Now I'm sure everybody is a bit confused that I mention the horse part, seeing as Dax is still out of commission, but I'm ever hopeful.....and I also found someone at my barn who wants help exercising their 16hand handsome-as-a-devil buckskin gelding :-)  He's pretty herd bound at the moment from being out of work, but his owner claims he's a rock-star on the trails (he is a Quarter horse).  Will try to get some pictures a bit later this week.  Regardless of horse potential, Pandapas pond is a great place to hike with puppers and bike.  So even with our friendly quiet road and the Heritage Farm just down the street (we found a way to walk there too!), we've got awesome trails just a bit further up the mt.

Man I love this town!!

Furry update: Dax is fat, even with her grazing muzzle on 24/7.  Our routine is now I jump on her bareback in her field, ride her down to the barn, she gets groomed, all her itches scratched, and a couple cookies, then bareback ride back to her field and her buddies.  She LOVES the new routine, not surprisingly.  The doggers are good....our weekend Pandapas pond trip wore them out!  Their lack of stamina continues to be the only clear sign of old age (well, and some morning stiffness) - otherwise both still completely loose their marbles any time we touch a leash.  Cato and Sam still don't spend much time outside, and Sammy is growing in his mane for the winter.  Cato is fine with her horrible clip job, and continues to be way more affectionate than she ever was in Crozet....still don't understand why!  I am counting my lucky stars everyone has adjusted so well to apt living!!!

Hubby is OK, although some cooler weather is also heralding in fall allergy season.  So far Claritin is his friend :-)  And I'm enjoying my classes so far, but that's probably just b/c they're all still really easy!  Got my first presentation in "Seminar" in two weeks, on how clinical trials have had an impact on the way we do modern research/science.

Ok, next post I promise to talk about school and how all that is going (unless I get comments that nobody is really interested and to just post more pictures of the pets.  I get it.)

Now I'm going to be a good, responsible adult and leave my pile of dishes in the kitchen so I can go to bed at a decent hour.

Some explanations

Hubby and I agree that for the sake of our financial security and mental stability, we should just stay put in our cheap, simple apartment for the next year.  We will seriously re-visit buying a house down the road as many things will still likely change, but for now, we're happy where we are.

Why this sudden change of tune, you might be wondering?  (and I don't blame you at all since I've been blathering on about buying a house for months and months)

To be honest, it's something hubby and I have gone back and forth about privately, but ultimately decided pro-house primarily for financial reasons (paying mortgage for 7yrs vs. paying rent for 7yrs).  For us, the decision between buying a house vs. renting is equivalent to the choice between two lifestyles:  

HOUSE-OWNING LIFE: lots of storage for lots of crap, extra rooms that we keep closed for guests/special use but still have to clean, yard with space for doggers and a garden, but must be mowed every week spring/summer.  Responsible for all things that break, time-wise and money-wise.  Good for having friends over, hosting parties, housing visiting relatives, but weekends would be spent cleaning, gardening, repairing/fixing.  Struggling to find time to fit in bike rides, horse commitments, trips.  Maintaining constant attention to budget limits, having to be VERY careful with food buying, eating out and drinking, even trips to visit family because of gas costs.  But we also can grow our own foods, maybe even have chickens and a bee hive!  Can compost, collect rainwater, lead a more ecologically conscious lifestyle with our choices in home and possible renovations (if we could afford to do renovations!!).  Workshop space for arts and crafts, building and repairing things.  Put things like piano lessons, vacations, major renovations, bike stuff, etc. on back burner b/c cannot afford AND don't have the time.  (by the way, I mentioned renovations b/c all we could afford would be fixer-uppers)

RENTING LIFE: limited storage, especially for bikes.  Poor offerings for accommodations for guest/family. Tiny kitchen that I can't let loose my culinary ninja skillz in.  Beer brewing is going to be tricky :-).  Small space gets messy extra fast, but also cleans up extra fast.  Dogs have no space to run in, always have to make sure to get home to let them out to pee.  Possibility of obnoxious neighbors, although so far we have fabulous neighbors.  Landlord dictates stuff, rent could go up!!  But for now, very cheap.  Very easy to maintain, tons of extra time, as well as cash, to explore things.  More time for mt biking, backpacking, cross country skiing at Mt. Lake resort, piano lessons, more horsey activities, yoga, music shows, etc.  But have to pay for things like car work that we could otherwise do ourselves b/c we don't have space/tool in storage.  No workshop space for crafts, building things, etc.  Less responsibilities to distract me from school, and less for hubby to shoulder during those times I'm super busy.  Not having to scrape by money-wise; can afford occasional nice dinners, better food (i.e. current lifestyle).  Can put more money into savings and retirement, even with eating out!  Can still shop for fresh farm veggies at the farmer's market, maybe join a local CSA to support local living/eating.

The punchline is that owning a home would make us much more tied to the property in both good and bad ways, but we would be, by financial necessity, home-bodies.  On the contrary, rental life makes spending large amounts of time in the apt pretty boring (I know, I've been stuck home sick the last three days) and thus we are encouraged to do more outside, away from the apt and perhaps more with other people.

For the last five years, we've been homebodies.  Even though we were renting the house in Crozet, we lived pretty far out and were responsible for it in almost every way on a daily basis (but we didn't have to replace appliances when they died, like the furnace and water heater!).  It was such a freaking high-maintenace place too.....it felt like we spent every single weekend cleaning, beating back weeds and mowing, maintaing vehicles, bikes and tools, maintaing the garden....yes, we did go to Mint Springs park a decent bit, but we barely did any backpacking and almost no trips (I just had to ask hubby and we can only come up with two trips that weren't visiting-family related).  While we did have some wonderful get-togethers and a rocking wedding in Crozet, we rarely could do the spur-of-the-moment things b/c of the location, but also b/c we were so strapped for time with all the work of maintaining.  While part of the problem was related to living out in the country, I know that lifestyle was especially isolating for my introverted hubby.  (I, on the other hand, had a tendency to lure people out to Crozet with promises of free food :-)  We were both relieved to be leaving that place b/c of all the cleaning!!

That having been our living situation for so long, we're both pretty curious about what the rental-lifestyle  in town will suit us.  While we both might be homebodies by introverted-nature, there's something to be said about pushing yourself beyond the usual comfort zone, making sure to stay engaged with the world around you and exploring new things.  Doing those things takes time, effort and in some cases money, things we wouldn't be able to spare if we owned a home.

The biggest factor might be the time factor.  After all, I'm in graduate school, in a freakin' dual degree program!  That's the whole reason we're here at all!  That HAS to be my primary focus.

So for now, we're staying put.  And it ain't so bad....this is what is right down the road from us:

Pics from the Heritage Farm, a public park with mowed walking trials (mentioned in a previous post).  Great dog walking, beautiful views!

Oh, and by the way, I start classes tomorrow.  Yikes!!


PS - I apologize for the less than beautifully written posts lately.  Today's excuse is the head cold and too much over-thinking all of what I detailed above.

We have a new pet....

and it's a gremlin.

Ok, it's just Cato.  After I shaved her.  After I did a really crappy job of shaving her :-) 

Is it bad to use one's pet as comic relief? 

Oh who am I kidding, that's why I've got pets!!

Sorry for the complete 180* post after the last one, just thought the blog could use some cheer to balance the stress-out!  And plus after a couple of days to clear my head and I've already formulated a new plan!!

Is anyone surprised??

Ugh.

Brace yourselves...I'm trying to unscramble my brains before going to bed and regain some positivity.

Over-all, things are FINE.  No one is sick, I haven't been kicked out of school, no huge catastrophe.

It's horse/money/house woes.

First off, Dax isn't sound, as I mentioned before.  She pretty much isn't ride-able (15 min walks don't count), though she is pasture sound and happy (and still fat).  However, being not ride-able doesn't mean she doesn't cost the same amount as when she is ride-able.  I don't know how much of a lost cause she is in terms of ever being ride-able again until I talk to a vet, but for now as my main stress-relieving-hobby, she's out of commission.

Then add today, when I discover that my paycheck amount I was told I'd be making turns out to be the amount before taxes....even though I EXPLICITLY asked months ago and was told that the amount told me was the amount after taxes.  So I get my paycheck only to discover how much less I'm actually bringing home than I thought I was.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a student bringing something home and I'm not complaining about that.  It's just a problem when we'd already drawn up budgets and made plans based on a larger income.  And I'm not even going to get into the $800 student "fee" PER SEMESTER that was never mentioned before I started....oh no, all I heard was how tuition was covered!  Nothing about that fee.

So yeah, we had ourselves in good shape to handle the little house mortgage with a decent cushion each month then suddenly WHAM, there goes the cushion!

Sooooo the jist is we can't afford the little house after all b/c of my stupid student crap AND because I have a fat, expensive and useless horse.  Which officially makes me the worst wifey in the world b/c my hubby doesn't have anything to do with the horse-habit but still supports me for some unknown reason!   However, understandably, this is about one straw away from breaking the camel's back.

But what can I do about the horse expense??!?  She's certainly not unsound enough to put down - it's completely indefensible.  She can't be used for much of anything, even a therapeutic riding horse (they get inundated with people trying to off-load horses on them, and Dax is probably too hot-blooded).  Horses can be donated to veterinary colleges...but sounds like most of them are put down almost immediately for anatomy labs or are used for terminal surgical training.  These are worth-while causes, and for a horse that is near the end of its life or is ill, I think this is a very viable and humane option.  But Dax is only 10yrs old, not even half-way through her life, and like I said before is happy and sound in her field.  Do I try to find some field in the middle of nowhere with cows she can live with and put her in retirement??  What if she gets hurt in the crappy conditions?

If it were just me, I'd simply suck it up, eat ramen noodles for the next six years, live in a studio and be fine - scrape and save to try the stem cell injection.  But I can't ask my hubby to make sacrifices like that for something he never has and never will get anything out of (horse keeping, that is).  The problem isn't that I'm keeping myself from owning a home, it's that I'm keeping HIM from owning a home.

Or, are we both too obsessed with home-ownership?  Haven't I mentioned repeatedly how much we like our little apt, how easy it is to care for, convenient to things, etc?  And did I mention cheap??  It's pretty freakin' cheap!!(even with the cost of the storage unit for all the extra crap)  We have our tomato and pepper plants outside, just enough space for a grill.  Hubby could still do his home-brewing on the back step.  We can shop at the farmer's market and join a CSA instead of having a garden.....being in an apt leaves more time for studying, bike riding, hiking, exploring in general.  Not to mention extra income for the occasional trip, etc.

But owning a home is an investment, right?  Good time to buy and all that, right?

But we know we'll be leaving the area almost for sure in 7 years.

But it's a college town and we could rent a house out, if we wanted to deal with that hassle.

This is not even getting into the fact that after three years of PhD work with a stipend, I'll drop to absolutely no income when I enter the DVM, plus have to actually pay $10,000 of tuition each year (that's only %50!!  And that's in-state!!  Can you believe how expensive vet school is??!? Next time you take your dog/cat/horse to the vet and wonder why it costs so much, it's because you're paying their student loans!)

Now I did know this when I applied, and I am planning on having a career that will cover those loans...like a long term investment in my brain :-)  But knowing it in advance doesn't make the cost any less staggering, in my opinion.  And it doesn't make it any easier to ask my hubby to make these sacrifices when he's not the one in school!!

I know nothing is going to get solved tonight, and I've already got some ideas of money-saving things to look into (Dax might become a professional blood-donor yet.....) AND I'm planning on applying for some fellowships that will cover the PhD if I get them - they come with a better stipend plus all the scientific glory of having gotten a fellowship, but who knows if any of it will work out. *sigh*

It always sucks when a beautiful happy image of one's future gets popped like a soap bubble.

Charged with neglect...

Well, I should be.  Poor blog!!  I can't believe there aren't dandelions and crab grass popping up in the corners over there....well, I guess that's one advantage of a blog over a garden!!  But my blog doesn't smell quite as nice as a garden.  Sorry, this analogy is just getting goofy.

Big news is that WE ARE FINALLY OUT OF CROZET AND COMPLETELY MOVED TO BLACKSBURG!!  I realize that might not seem like such a big deal to everyone else, but seeing as it was a horrendous move weekend PLUS THREE ADDITIONAL WEEKENDS of moving and cleaning, both hubby and I are just relieved.  There was one sad moment of leaving, but unfortunately the exhaustion and relief were too overwhelming for me to get very sentimental.  Honestly, after having to pull posts out of the field, hubby mowing the yard twice and getting attacked by bees (subsequently ending up on prednisone and antibios) and mice re-appearing in the kitchen for me to clean up after, well, we weren't exactly feeling the love.

So what are we up to now, you might be wondering?  Well....still plotting how we might get our hands on the little yellow house!  Yup, it's still on the market, and we've been in town long enough now to have paystubs, so the banks will believe that we are actually employed.  (Also for those of you parental types out there, we've done our budgets and confirmed we can afford the house on the reduced-student-income.)  Of course now that we're ready to get back down to serious loan application business, our realtor and the loan dude go out of town for a week.  Pooh bah!  We're also watching things carefully to see what happens to loan rates with the new gov't rating....I've heard everything from doomsday-the-economy-will-collapse to -eh-things-might-go-up-a-bit.

Slight tangent - does anyone else feel like going to D.C. and smacking some congressional idiots around?  We could carpool!!

House hunting aside, we're pretty settled into our little apartment, and are really enjoying it....it only takes the two of us to take it from messy and dirty to neat and clean in 2hrs!!

Is it sad that I base my happiness in a place on how quickly it can be cleaned??  Maybe we should be staying the the apartment.....

All the furries are good, except for Dax.  Simply, she's lame again.  It's pretty clear that the steroid injection didn't work at this point. I really wish there were a special font for displaying frustration and disappointment, but there's not so you'll just have to take my word for it.

I've had time to mull it over, and have a plan.
1) Continue to very lightly ride her once a week to keep her brain in the right place....she's sound walking and moving straight and very light work isn't making things worse.  I'll give her bute (horsey ibuprofen) when I do ride as a just in case.
2) More clicker training!!
3) Beg for other horses to ride at the barn to keep my hiney in shape.
4) Work with the vets at Tech about possible options - second steroid injection?  Stem cell injection?  I need to find out what they think and what things would cost me.  As I understand it, I get a pretty significant discount on annual vet care (i.e. it's free) but this goes well beyond standard care.  BUT there's no rush on this since she's pasture sound.  I'd like to work on this for the next year, but it's going to depend significantly on the house situation.

If it seems like I'm being optimistic, it's because I am!  Being pessimistic doesn't get much done, and it's easier to be hopeful when generally everything else in my life is pretty darned good!

I'll leave you with some pics of the apt, taken during move-in.  More soon, I promise, but not tomorrow as it's my dear hubby's 37th birthday tomorrow!!

Crozet is the new Black......sburg

Ironically I write to you all from Crozet this Saturday morning.  However, we have "officially" moved!  Unfortunately it's been strung out because we have so much sh....er, stuff, that we left a lot in Crozet last weekend.  So it's back to make a few more trips to the dump, a couple trips to the SPCA Rummage store (donations) and load up trucks once again.  We'll be back next weekend as well for one last load and to clean the house thoroughly.

The move just sucked, and that's all I'm saying about it.  We were idiots to think two people could move a 1200sqft house full + appliances in 2 days without much help.  Next time, we're hiring people to help. 'Nuff said.

As for the new Burg, we love it!  Our little apt is perfectly sized for us at the moment (we've got a spare bedroom for storage of all our delicate stuff like nice pictures and printers that shouldn't be in non-climate controlled storage).  All the furries made the trip really well....Cato seems to dig living in a smaller space!  She was the one we were most worried about traumatizing since she's never lived anywhere else.  The Sam has been a spaz, and is torn between really wanting to explore outside but being scared of the barking dawg that lives below us.  The puppers are adjusting really well, but we've been very contentious about taking them for walks AM and PM.  Just down the road from our apt is an old farm which has been converted to a park with mowed walking trails around all the old fields....it's got a lovely view of the mountains and goes by a perfect pup-swimming creek.  In addition to that, the road we live at the top of goes a decent bit back into some older farm-ish areas.  It's a dead end, so it's a great road to walk the pups down and back on (and blind-dog Haley has an easy time on pavement).

I want to distribute our new contact info, but don't think posting it on the blog for ALL to see is the best way necessarily.  So I'll send out emails shortly, but for now if you're curious (and have a highspeed connection) you can Google map the road....Boxwood Dr. Blacksburg, VA....to get an idea of the area if you want.

Neither hubby nor I can believe it, but we don't miss Crozet (yet).  We're too excited to be in Blacksburg, I still can't believe I'm actually in grad/vet school officially, and we're both giddy with being able to bike to our respective work-places (my commute consists of 10mins of bike lanes and having to resist stopping at the Starbucks that is along the way!!).

More on the new lab, hubby's job, future plans, my hormone-crazed mare, and randomness later!

How many boxes can you live out of???

Wow.  I can't believe how much has gone on in the last three weeks.  *deep breath*  Here goes:

1. Discovered different loan people who like hubby & myself more.....more enough to give us full pre-approval and the possibility of closing on a house by July 15th.  So....
2. We made another offer on the adorable yellow house that we are now fully obsessed with.  And somehow ended up under contract after a week of back and forth.....
3. And then started doing some digging on the septic system the house is on, and whether we would be legally required to hook up to the sewer system, and then how much that would cost exactly.  You all probably know how hard it is to gather information from that from a city...the engineer sends us to the sewer guy who is on vacation, who then sends us to the health department....
4.  We weren't getting info on the septic from the owners......and then we were offered 5k to NOT do a septic inspection.  Hmmm...
5.  It became clear to us from the LACK of info (either from the owners or Health dept) that the septic was the original from...wait for it....1942.  As in there is no way it would meet modern standards, and would be at high risk of complete failure at any moment (and I've got some clear memories of helping my dad replace to top of the old metal septic tank on the island after it rusted through.....ugh).
6.  We also found out 'bout the same time that the sewer connection could cost anywhere from $12,000 to $25,000.  This probably seems expensive, but it's because the city sewer line would have to be extended up the road to the house, then the lateral line put in to the house, then whatever indoor plumbing was involved AND the septic would have to be decommissioned.  We couldn't get an itemized estimate from the city for the line extension (which is the lion's share of the cost) and thus the wide margin for cost.
7.  So, with only 14 days before our planned "move" the contract was cancelled and we were once again without housing.  Nobody better accuse me of not being spontaneous ever again!!!!
8.  In the last 10 days, we have :
 - gone to B'burg 3 times
 - had my horse transportation completely cancel 24hrs before they were to move Dax
 - nailed down a small 2bedroom apt as temp housing (although it's a year lease...more on that later)
 - got a moving truck at the last minute
 - found a storage unit for most of our crap
 - I finished up in my lab, leaving Friday night at 10:30pm on my last day.
 - have boxed up about 3/4 of our crap
 - have said more times than we can count "why do we have this much crap??"
 - celebrated our 2 year anniversary
 - begged farrier's wife to trailer Dax to B'burg, who had to travel 300miles round trip (and I got to pay for)
 - finally moved pony-butt to her new digs....after sitting on I81 for 45mins when they stopped traffic to "blast"
 - watched an amazing Blue Ridge sunset over the now empty field
 - completely freaked our dogs and cats out (poor blind Haley keeps running into all the boxes!)
 - begged some really good friends for help both packing and moving some large appliances
 - gotten hubby shipped back to b'burg for his first day of his new job tomorrow!! (he's sleeping on two camping mattresses and a sleeping bag in our empty apt)

(Sorry for the cheesy lists, but for some reason it helps me organize my thoughts and forces me to be succinct.  We'd be on page 9 of the story if not for the list!  I'm going to blame it on too much lab influence.)

So yeah, that's what's going on.  I know I complained a lot about planning the wedding, doing classes and working full time while applying to vet school but....this takes the cake.

It's too crazy to be either excited or sad...I'm just, kind of, shell-shocked.  And I'm REALLY tired of all the planning and decision making.  And I thought orchestrating a caterer and rentals and photos was tricky....it stinks when I've got to call 4 different storage places to find one that has the right sized unit available now, can fit a 24ft moving truck and doesn't charge and arm and a leg....that's after spending 45mins online doing research.  Then our truck rental turns out not to be available.

I had to sacrifice a precious day of packing to go with Dax on our trailering odyssey....seriously, my farrier and his wife and WONDERFUL people.  But between me forgetting some critical paperwork and getting stuck on 81 (pony was sitting in a big, brown metal "oven" essentially) then finally getting to the barn only to have Dax melt-down over the site of the resident mini-horse....yeah, it was an odyssey. By the way, mini-horses and tiny ponies are Dax's cryptonite - no prob with fire trucks or polo balls whizzing by her head, but show her a mini and she turns into a quivering 1300lb shotgun ready to go off at the end of the lead rope.  Of course she had the melt down in front of the barn owner/her new caretaker.  So much for my assurances that she's easy to handle.....

Horsibal-Lector fears nothing....except her own kind.

(Old picture, in her old pasture before the move with fly mask and grazing muzzle....notice the gut?)

SO tomorrow is the last day of packing, hubby picks up the rental truck Sat, we're planning on loading all day then heading to B'burg first thing Sunday.  Truck goes back Monday morning, we unpack and I head to my new lab Tuesday morning!

We are lucky we have a super chill landlord in Crozet who is letting us keep the place until July 17th, so we'll be back to pick up odds and ends, clean the place spotless (or better yet, hair-less!) and mow one last time.  I guess from then on, we'll officially be Blacksburgers, instead of Crozetians.  Mmmm, burgers....

On a completely different note, in an effort to use as little stuff in the kitchen as possible while packing, I discovered a secret of the universe.

Have you ever considered grilling....bacon?

WELL, not only did I consider it, I did it and it is DAMN GOOD!!!  And not only is the bacon smoky-crispy-yummy, my house is also grease free and there's not splatter or dishes!  Now I realize that one must have the right equipment....We've got a small Weber with a heavy duty grate (think wide metal slats to support the bacon).  And it does cook faster than one might expect....I had a few extra-crispy specimens that went to the dogs while I was perfecting my bacon-grill timing.  But talk about easy and tasty!!  I'll have to admit that the high point for me was not having my towels smell like bacon for the next two days.  Current home has no vent over the stove what-so-ever,  so every time I've cooked bacon, the entire place smells like cold grease for days.  It's nasty.  But now....oh, it's a whole new world of bacon-inspired cooking!!  I don't know, maybe everybody else has heard of this, but I hadn't and I think it was a stroke of brilliance!

Well, I've wasted enough packing time....this was supposed to be my dinner break, but it got slightly extended.  Please be patient with me, as it'll probably be more than a week before I post again.

Since this experience has taken the cake for craziest of my life, I leave you with.....cake.  Technically it's the cake I left my lab with, but...whatever.  So much for witty word-play :-P

Super quick update

It's past my bedtime, but wanted to give a heads up - still alive, still not sure where I'm going to live in two weeks.  Hubby and I are back in negotiation over the little yellow house...it's a long story which will be told when there is more time and I'm not yawning at my computer.  Hopefully we will officially be under contract and having inspections done this week.  The contract says closing will be July 15th, and if all goes straightforward with the inspections, we'll probably make that date.  Until the 15th, we'll be storing our stuff at the house in Crozet, probably boarding the animules and staying in an extended-stay place in Blacksburg.  Wee!!  Life is never dull!

This upcoming week is my last at work.  I'm both sad and relieved, as it's been hard to focus on experiments while obsessing over buying our first house, moving, and starting a new program.  While there are things I'm not going to miss (like giving mice medication at 9pm on a Sunday, for instance) there is so much more that is wonderful.  I can't imagine finding another group of better people to work with *sigh*  Honestly, my new lab seems like it's going to be great, but it's hard when the bar is set so high to begin with.

On a more fun note, Happy Father's day to my dear old Dad and my step-Dad, and to all the other wonderful dads out there!